More Heartburn than Heartache This Mother's Day

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#MagicWithinme,


Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and it’s different is so many ways. My mom is not with us, this will be the 4th year. My mom was the family matriarch, the Madea of the family. She could throw a shoe or a hairbrush with perfect aim, or just use her eye to pin us to the wall when we wouldn’t listen to her. And like Madea she was quick to discipline but just as fiercely protective of her family.
On Mother’s Day we would all get together and heaven help you if you brought my mom plastic flowers. She wanted the real thing! There was nothing more she loved than having her grandbabies around her. When she passed, there were 8 girls and 2 boys. Now there are 11 girls and 3 boys. I look at the little faces and it brings tears to my eyes knowing how much she would have loved them, we parents were just background. And did she know how to cook. While she made perfect round tortillas in the blink of an eye, my sister and I were looking at our feeble attempts trying to figure out if they looked more like butterflies or batman. The wonderful spicy smells in the air, a plain pot of beans were a feast.
That’s where the heartburn comes in, having gotten a lap band this January; I haven’t been too experimental in the food I eat except lately. We have a few bodegas, stores that sell primarily Hispanic foods cooked/uncooked. Entering those places brings back such a rush of memories, making my mouth water, well I ended up ordering some spicy salsa, jalapeño poppers twice, enchiladas in green chili sauce (not all at the same time, lol) . And it BURNED, yet I kept trying to eat this spicy stuff, knowing the end results. Then it hit me, I was trying to eat my memories. It wasn’t enough that I could smell them; I had to taste them, even when I had tears running down my face, from the spiciness, I’d still put it in my mouth. When the burning was at the “other end” I finally stopped. It's funny now when I think back, but the heartache I feel missing my mom sure isn't.
Wishing all my lapband talk friends, a wonderful day!

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