Love The One You Are Witr

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 #MagicWithinme,

and tell them,because you never know when they might not be there anymore. I know where my mom is always. She's in the shade, "where the sprinklers don't hit her". And she wanted to be buried next to my dad because she didn't know anybody else there. Today is Valentine's Day, a day for lovers to reaffirm their love , celebration, some swinging from the chandeliers, but for my brothers and sister, our Valentines is bittersweet because our mom passed away 4 years ago on Valentines Day. I can remember I was gonna stop by the hospital for a visit and go home and get ready for a date with my hubby who wasn't my hubby yet. I was reaching for the door of her room when I got a call on my cell , that she had passed away. i was right outside the door... You think of all the whatifs. What if I had left work earlier? What if I had found a parking spot earlier? What if I had spent the night with her?

As time goes on, alot of things my mom did make sense to me now, she did it because she was not comfortable with the English language, the American way and it was easier to hold on to us within her reach as she could . I could be talking about something now about my mom will have said/done comes to mind, and the light/bell go off and I can see that's why she did some of the things she did. Forgiveness and love are hand in hand for me.

My mom had been a large woman, in the end, she lost weight not because she had wanted to, but because illness had done it for her. That is one of the reasons I know I chose to get the lapband, because I didn't want that to be the way for me to loose weight. I want to enjoy life, enjoy my new marriage and new grandbaby whom I adore. I don't want to be remembered, the way I remember my mom always hurting/complaining of a pain I know now is not phantom.

When my grandbaby was born the first thing you see IS my mom's face. The first time my aunt saw her she cried. Last week, as I was getting ready for work, I saw my mom's face staring back at me. I did one of those double-takes, but it was me. Last night night my daughter called me that she wanted to visit my mom. so today at lunch we went met at the cementery. How easy the tears can come , when you think of all you miss and wish them there. But one thing I did say to my daughter and I believe with all my heart, is they are watching over us from above. When we talked to the Pastor, he reminded us that everyday is Valentine's Day and it is not for just couples but in loving each every single day.

Love the one you are with and tell them.

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