Hispanic Dave Navarro On Thursday, I had my QME and final physical exam on the knee. The doctor was very upfront, wanting knee information only. "Bad sleep patterns." no not bad sleep patterns, PTSD sleep, I can't sleep because I expect to hear his voice, calling out for me, or expect to hear a thud that he fell out of bed or on his way to the bathroom, "he did't want me to help me, I don't think it was pride, he too was trying to self preservate, self medicate, he didn't believe that it was kill him, until the end. " When he asked me if there was anything else, I think I probably would have said something about the year 2023. being a blur, my knee, my son. partly why I didn't couldn't do my knee surgery. I didn't want to for fear, but I also needed to be available for ...
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I am the daughter
Been going to al-Anon meetings, as support for my son, who is in a pain right now that nobody can touch but himself and his "girlfriend". Today after two conversations with him, about going to a noon meeting. That I would pick him up and take him. I arranged to take time off, drove across town and he was still asleep. I was angry for a moment, and knew that my anger would only hurt me, I was ready to just go back to work, and thought, no, I took the time off, I can still go to the meeting and I'm glad I did. Listening to the comments of everyone, the sharing of their lives their journey. Today the conversation was about relationships and the family dynamic. I was listening to one woman talk about her children now, and how she described them, micro-managing, everything has to be exact. How when her babies were born, there was no maternal instinct. It was raise them till they are 18, strong ready to take on the world. Oh, crap that's me! and it hit me, I am the daught...
Healing
It's been a while since I've been on here, on anywhere. It's almost like talking about my deep pain, inner child stuff, would be too painful, like the wind over an open wound. Third time talking to Jessica, she's been on point with Mando stuff, I want to say a lot of it, I was already aware because I am so aware. Mando is happy, at peace, that is what I want to know over and over. Life was so hard for him here, I remember telling him, God loves you why can't you love yourself. His poor mind just was in too much pain to understand the path he was going on and then it was too late. Yesterday, she told me he is at peace, happy that I am picking up most of his signs for me, to continue in what I am doing. Continuing to honor him in what I do. I will manifest things, and when it happens, I am in stunned silence because part of me doesn't believe I actually did it. When I should have so much faith that I can do anything. A bird sign is coming. Mando very proud of Tr...